Stormy Speaks

Stormy Weather is opry.com's exclusive columnist. A veteran, though self-described "young and trendy music industry insider," Stormy takes readers along as she moves gracefully within Nashville’s elite inner circles and shares her own first-hand observations, take-no-prisoners opinions and juicy commentary on the movers and shakers inside Music City's illustrious entertainment industry. Read it from Stormy like you won't read it anywhere else.

Stormy Remarks on CMA Nominations, Country Clothes, Joe Nichols Channeling George Strait, and more!  

With any luck at all, you’ve extended your Labor Day Monday into a weeklong vacation. For the rest of us, it’s back to the daily grind. Stormy would like nothing more than to tell you that she spent the holiday reading up on healthcare reform or another intellectual topic. Well, she didn’t. Instead, she plowed through a stack of magazines and devoured the celebrity gossip. Admit it; you’re not above it either.

First things first—it’s one thing to get sucked into a Saturday afternoon Lifetime movie marathon. You know, the kind of movie that looked mildly interesting, and the next thing you know, it’s ten hours later and you’ve eaten every bag of chips in the house? You’ve been there. Well, it’s entirely different to live one of those overly dramatic Lifetime movies. Um, paging LeAnn Rimes. Seems LeAnn’s not so “Blue” or “oh, so lonesome” as she and her Northern Lights costar Eddie Cibrian have apparently left their respective spouses for each other. With a very vocal ex-wife in the mix, this is bound to get worse before it gets better. Or visa versa, depending on your perspective. Can someone cue Gretchen Wilson’s “Homewrecker” here, please?

Breaking up may be hard to do, but getting your own clothing line is apparently pretty easy. Joining the ranks of Reba McEntire, Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift is megastar Kenny Chesney, who is the latest to launch his own clothing line, aptly named Blue Chair Bay. For a guy who makes a living in sleeveless t-shirts and faded jeans, “fashion designer” would be the last title Stormy would have expected Kenny to add to his resume. But, who is she to judge? Now Stormy does have one small issue with Kenny’s self-proclaimed casual pieces, for both women and men, that are like that favorite T-shirt that you've washed a lot that is kind of sun bleached ... your favorite khakis, and your shirt that you've had forever. First of all, Stormy despises khaki pants and wouldn’t be caught dead in them. And she certainly wouldn’t puka-shell out $75 for a pair, even if they are from Blue Chair Bay. And $35 for a t-shirt? Oh, no. Okay, maybe, if Keith Urban were serenading her with “You Look Good in My Shirt,” but what’s the likelihood of that happening? Look for Stormy in her $20 Taylor Swift sundress she got at Wally World.

Speaking of the sun, it seems to have set on Dolly Parton’s 9 to 5 Broadway debut. However, do not fear country music fans. Pure Country is headed to the Great White Way. The popular movie that starred George Strait as “Dusty” is bound for the boards of New York City with Joe Nichols in the lead role, opposite Miss Lorrie Morgan as his ruthless manager Lula Rogers, played by Lesley Ann Warren in the movie. Hopefully, Joe was given enough advance notice to grow a real ponytail so that he won’t have to wear that hideous hairpiece that George sported in the movie. And, yes, Stormy realizes that, had George Strait been give five years notice, the likelihood of him growing a ponytail were nil.

Just as Stormy was about to wrap this up, she just got an email with the 2009 CMA Awards nominees. Here are just a few topics sure to stir up some stimulating comments down at the coffee shop tomorrow morning. First, how many folks will wonder if 19-year-old Taylor Swift should be an Entertainer of the Year nominee? Second, will it be Montgomery Gentry or Sugarland who brings the “It’s Been a Great Run B&D” cake for Kix and Ronnie? Third, will Huck and Jasper’s dad sweep all six categories in which he’s nominated? Fourth, and finally, did Stormy miss the Eagle’s country tour and their hit singles on country radio?

Speaking of Huck and Jasper, Stormy is headed to her mailbox for her copy of People magazine, featuring the entire Paisley family on the cover. After a Labor Day magazine-a-thon, Stormy is looking forward to reading about a normal, all-American family of four. And she hears that little Huck is already a real heartbreaker. Looking at his parents, how could he be anything but? No drama here, just maybe a good farm story or two. And, Stormy thought she loved you then.