Stormy Speaks

Stormy Weather is opry.com's exclusive columnist. A veteran, though self-described "young and trendy music industry insider," Stormy takes readers along as she moves gracefully within Nashville’s elite inner circles and shares her own first-hand observations, take-no-prisoners opinions and juicy commentary on the movers and shakers inside Music City's illustrious entertainment industry. Read it from Stormy like you won't read it anywhere else.

Stormy’s Summer Lovin’ Tour--Lovin’ That Country Music!

That’s right, Stormy has returned from her self-proclaimed Stormy’s Summer Lovin’ Tour--Lovin’ That Country Music. And it was all inspired by the Great Opry Drive In. Surely by now you’ve seen that irresistible photo of Little Jimmy Dickens and Dierks Bentley in that snazzy convertible? Don’t let summer slip by without planning a summer road trip, and if you end up at the Grand Ole Opry--all the better. Keep reading below for highlights from Stormy’s Summer Lovin’ tour road trip. If this doesn’t inspire you to toss a bag in the car and head to Nashville, you need to check your tire pressure.


Stormy’s Summer Lovin’ tour required a sweet ride, so Stormy backed her custom-painted pink Mustang convertible out of the garage. No, don’t think for a minute that Stormy has ever sold an ounce of Mary Kay; it’s a custom shade of pink created to match the roses Garth Brooks sent to Stormy after he joined the Grand Ole Opry back in 1990. With the top down--on the car, that is--and an open road before them, Stormy, her best girlfriends, Loretta (yes, she’s named after the Coal Miner’s daughter) and Bobette, and one guy, Don, officially began Stormy’s Summer Lovin’ tour just four hours east of Music City in Pigeon Forge, Tenn.,--home of Dollywood--one of the “places you can’t miss on your way to Nashville.”


Stormy and friends attended an invitation-only media event on June 16 at the park hosted by Miss Dolly Parton! Well, no one makes a grand entrance quite like Dolly as she appeared on stage in a tiger cage to promote her new “Big Cats & Magic” show starring the Fercos Brothers! Meow! Once Dolly emerged from that cage, to the thunderous applause of a packed theatre, she let everyone know just how crowded that tiger cage really was. Of course, tigers don’t wear five-inch stilettos and a super-cute zebra-striped, feather-trimmed ensemble, either. Once behind a microphone where she belonged, Miss Parton proceeded to let the cat out of the bag, so to speak, when she gave away the secret to one of the show’s featured magic tricks. Accidentally, of course. And the crowd roared, as did a couple of the exotic cats. Some people caution that one should never follow children or animals on stage, but Miss Parton need not worry. And for those of you still wondering, funnel cake isn’t really cake at all. And as Don can tell you, it’s better eaten AFTER the coaster ride.


From East Tennessee, Stormy’s Summer Lovin’ tour continued as she and her friends traveled down South to Mobile, Ala., where Stormy set her watch back to “Tulsa Time” for a wonderful, music-filled evening at the Saenger Theatre with the Gentle Giant, Mr. Don Williams. Stormy got a little misty as Don Williams settled into that worn, vintage ‘70s bar stool that he has surely carted back and forth across this great country and around the world countless times. Listening to the audience sing along to “I Believe In Love” just fortified Stormy’s love of this man and his music. Perhaps virginity isn’t as common as it used to be, and neither is talent like that of Mr. Williams. Therefore, Stormy refuses to accept Mr. Williams retirement. Stormy, along with Don and Loretta, is seriously considering a grassroots campaign to keep this country legend on the road well into the next decade. Stormy must preserve a world where Don can incessantly repeat the words “coffee black,” and know that Loretta will faithfully respond with an emphatic “cigarette.” Ah, some memories never end.


Stormy found a little place just outside of Mobile where she and the gang could eat and get gas, then they headed north. Stormy was headed straight for the Big Apple--more about that in just a moment--by way of Greenville, S.C. for the sold-out Kenny Chesney concert on June 29. At the time, Kenny’s single “Summertime” had a choke-hold on the top of the country charts, but do you know what still gets a crowd of 17,000 country fans stirred up? That’s right. “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy.” The more Stormy listens to that song, the more she’s convinced that Kenny’s singing about more than just a farm implement, wink, wink.


Stormy barely had time to pack away her puka shell necklace before she and the gang were back on the highway, on their way to the Big Apple. One speeding ticket and several hours later, and yes, Stormy and friends were in New York for Rascal Flatts’ June 30th Today Show performance. Other than Don’s apparent disappointment that Katie Couric was nowhere to be found, Stormy, Loretta and Bobette made the most of the guys’ three-song set which included "Fast Cars and Freedom," "What Hurts the Most" and "Feels Like Today." After much searching, Stormy uncovered Don’s half-eaten bologna and cheese sandwich and Rascal Flatts latest CD Me and My Gang in the backseat of the Mustang. Stormy tossed the sandwich, but she cranked up the tunes as the gang departed the city that never sleeps and headed due west.


July 1st found the gang in Cleveland, Ohio, only to discover that Tim McGraw and Faith Hill had to reschedule the date since Tim's doctors ordered him to rest for several days after being diagnosed with bronchitis. Well, there was no rest--nor a concert--for the weary, although Stormy certainly might have suggested some vocal rest for Don, who, from the back seat, had sung all the way from New York City. Stormy, Loretta and Bobette spent this leg of Stormy’s Summer Lovin’ tour debating the deeper meaning of “When the Stars Go Blue.” Being a typical male, Don, who took a break from his off-pitch rendition of “Do You Want Fries With That,” insisted that the song in question was simply a song about “dancing when you’re lonely by yourself.” Stormy and her girlfriends Loretta and Bobette were still undecided and confused as lyrics about “wooden shoes” and “wedding gown” spilled from the CD player. Yes, Stormy travels with CDs featuring every artist on her Summer Lovin’ tour. Although combing the depths of the song’s deeper meaning produced nothing, Don bought dinner for Stormy, Loretta and Bobette because Don doubted Stormy’s unchallenged knowledge of music--both country and other genres. Stormy bet Don dinner that she knew who wrote and first recorded “When the Stars Go Blue.” Of course, Don “thinks” he’s the Dr. Phil of country music trivia, and trying to convince him otherwise is like trying to keep Paris Hilton out of the tabloids. After several convincing threats by Loretta, the debate raged on as Don insisted it was Tim McGraw. However, the true music connoisseur knows it was Ryan Adams. Yes, the gang went all out at Buster’s BBQ that night--Don’s treat--and Loretta and Bobette are still talking about that meal to this day.


After stopping to send a gift basket of throat-soothing teas to Tim, from Cleveland, the gang steered the pink Mustang convertible due west on the way to Carrie Underwood’s July 3 concert at the San Diego County Fair. Much to everyone’s disappointment, the convertible made it all the way to Kansas City before smoke began to billow from underneath the hood. Stormy knew something was up when she heard the engine knockin’ like a bass drum at a Montgomery Gentry concert. Much to her dismay, Stormy had just sung the last chorus of “Jesus Take the Wheel” when the engine died about 55 miles outside of town. Looking back, it’s hard to tell who was more overheated--Bobette or the Mustang. Standing on the roadside with suitcases, a Hefty bag of dirty laundry, half-empty slurpees and Bobette about to melt in the heat that rose from that asphalt, the gang looked like four poster children for Toby Keith’s White Trash with Money CD. The Mustang was escorted back to Music City, while the gang hopped a plane and landed just in time to see our favorite American Idol, Miss Carrie Underwood, take the stage. Carrie not only took the stage, she owned it as she belted out “Don’t Forget to Remember Me.”


Like all good things, Stormy’s Summer Lovin’ tour had to come to an end. Our friend Alan Jackson was wise beyond his years when he sang “there ain’t no cure for the summertime blues.” So the gang settled in at Don’s house just in time to celebrate our nation’s independence and the rebuilt engine in Stormy’s pink Mustang convertible. Once again, strong enough for yet another road trip. Until then, Stormy, Don, Loretta, and Bobette listened to country tunes on the back porch. The only thing hotter than the tunes was the fire where Loretta grilled the hotdogs. Bobette made her secret-recipe potato salad. Stormy, of course, brought the all-American Apple Pie. The gang reminisced while sipping lemonade that Don claimed to have made himself. Don’t think for a minute that Stormy didn’t spy that empty plastic gallon jug in the trash can! Refreshing nonetheless, as was Stormy’s Summer Lovin’ tour. The gang made more memories this summer than Kenny Chesney made money. Stormy encourages you to get those wheels turning and make that summer road trip sizzle.